The subculture of scum and villainy best known as the Mens Rights movement has lost another idiot.
What? Too soon? Okay, let me start over.
Elliott Rodger, a 22, overpriviledged, bigoted, misogynist college student with glaring delusions of entitlement went on a killing spree. 6 were killed and another 13 wounded in the process.
His modus operandi? No woman wanted to fuck him. So much so, that his entire YouTube channel was proliferated with how women don’t like him and how his life was “so unfair”.
I’m not going to go into why the Men’s Rights movement is completely fucking stupid and being a misogynist fuckhead who sees women as objects will never get you laid. I’ve touched on it here, and I’ve discussed my feelings on MRA’s at some length here. This time, let’s talk about the topic at hand. I’ll try not to get angry, I promise.
So this guy -unlucky in love and apparently everyone was against him as a result, goes out, shoots a few people and then offs himself. He had issues and baggage (just like everyone else) and came to the quick realization that not everything gets handed to you on a silver platter (again, just like everyone else).
The case is disturbing in itself. What makes it all the more disturbing is that people are defending this jackass. Going so far to blame women for not giving a crack at their cracks for the unfortunate outcome.
Think I’m kidding? Here are a few doozies from YouTube:
Jesus cocksucking Christ. Maybe if YouTube existed back then, Hitler and Manson could have got off on the “well maybe if you put out” plea…
Which begs the question: Let’s say some gal dropped her panties for our BMW-driving douchebro here. Is that really going to solve every problem this kid had? What if they got into a fight? What if she said no to some Valentines Day pooper action? what if, what if, what if…
I guess if I had the opportunity to reach out to the kid, I’d slap him upside the head and tell him how much of a douche he is. To not be ‘that guy’, because ‘that guy’ is a pathetic excuse of a human being not worthy of even getting a woman to give them the time of day (and I assure you, I’m one of these sappy fucks who think that everyone has someone out there for them)
That’s the thing, really. I think what shits me off the most about this whole thing, is my own god-damned self.
While I never went out of my way to be a misogynist, would never intentionally harm a woman, and never blamed my problems entirely on women, I was certainly on that path, and can see “what could have been” of myself in Elliott and every other piece of shit “red pill” asshole that has come and gone before him, and will come and go well after his name has been forgotten.
Again, it’s the “what if”, that bothers me. Thankfully -as much as I still feel I need to drown myself in some sort of feminist baptism as penance, I’ve wizened, I’ve learned from mistakes, I’ve read far too many feminist blogs.
It’s also the reason why I get the shits with people with this sort of attitude. I speak from a place of experience-of-not-getting-laid-very-much and that most of my relationships happened by complete fluke, not of a place of the pick-up-artist, the nice guy, the red pill. I speak from a place of “If I got it, and I’m pretty fuckin’ dumb, then why can’t these assholes?”. I speak from a place of “I’ve been there, man, and it’s a shitty path to be on. Don’t be that guy.”
While I do appreciate that some women are manipulative, abusive and just downright bad pieces of work (again, been there too), is that a reason to not trust all women? Is there a #NotAllWomen hashtag in MRA circles? I honestly don’t get it. At all. To completely mistreat, berate, insult and abuse women for the simple, well-within-their-rights, and perfectly rational decision to say “no” to a guy, for whatever reason, is beyond me.
Again, I’ve been there. I’ve responded to people I’ve contacted on dating sites like “c’moooon, give me a chance! I’m totally cool, honest!” not realizing that I am part of the goddamned problem. I’ve stalked the blogs of long-since-over paramours for even just a hint of attention, heck, I think I still follow one on Twitter. Should probably amend that.
I think part of the problem, is that we put too much emphasis on one’s virginity. Once you’ve been with a few people, you realize it doesn’t matter. Virginity is a moot point when the first time you’re in bed with someone is awkward, painful and the least-sexy thing you could imagine. That it’s a waste of time building up all this anticipation and expectation on a concept which -really, ends up being an awkward and overly-too-long handjob.
“Really? that’s it? shit, where’d I put the Kleenex box?”.
Another part, I think is the emphasis -at least for guys – on getting a girlfriend. Movies, music, peers and shit, the goddamn internet tells us we’re owed a woman wearing little more than a bow around her waist and a modesty bikini, to have and to hold. When you enter the real world and realize that women are living, breathing people just like us with feelings and opinions and the right to fuck or not fuck whoever they want, we feel lied to, that it’ll never happen, and thus begins the battle-cry of the nice guy, the true gentleman, the true alpha male.
The girl I mentioned before, the one I contacted again after her initial refusal, I remember thinking exactly this. That I was owed, that “hey, you came up as a match so I’m worth a shot, right? I mean I downloaded a Gyroscope album so we had something in common!” line of thinking that would eventually, lead to a hell of a wake-up call later on down the line (not to mention the first of many attempts of online dates, which -in turn- led to the first of many trainwreck relationships). I took that shit hard, man. All because a woman exercised her right to say “no”.
I post all this, partially has a confession. I done goofed and -by all rights, I should be given no quarter by anyone even remotely identifying as a feminist. Somehow I got off light. Either I hid it really well over the years, or they know I done goofed and have attempted to change. Either way, I survived. Let’s see for how long after I post this, eh?
Finally –and I’m butchering an entire post of Andrew’s here– men have got to step up and be better. Assume that we’re not owed shit, and stop being self-serving, Facebo0-hooing fuckbags when a woman exercises her right to not offer to help get our dicks wet.
One Elliott Rodger was bad enough. How many more is it going to take?
Till next time.