I’ll forewarn you now: This post is totally not work safe unless you have a REALLY cool boss. I’d also recommend that you don’t let your kids read over your shoulder for this one. Here, look, have some cute kittens.
You’ve clocked out? Kids aren’t around? Good. Let’s move on.
So I recently found out that a porn star I’ve recently started lusting over died way back in 2008. Her name was Julie Ellis, 19 years old. Star of high-quality, clearly morally sound titles such as “Don’t Let Daddy Know #6”. Yet another bright-eyed starlet that fills the “cute, adorable girl next door who’s still old enough to not get you hit with an FBI warrant” market.
After hearing the initial news, I got a-googlin’. Ended up on a long strip of the information superhighway headed towards the sleepy town of “Fuckall”, just off of the “Google Has Failed Me” turnoff. Seriously, nobody was talking about this. Doesn’t the internet go nuts for young girls who show their tits?
Eventually, I came across an industry-related forum (which I refuse to give the link to) discussing the matter. Well, I say “discussing”, more ripping this poor girl to shreds. Here’s a few samples:
“down syndrome is a terrible cross to bear.”
“According to iafd, she only did two flicks and none of her scenes involved anal. She was cute, so I would normally take two seconds to mourn her. However, since her demise was self-inflicted and she never did anal — fuck her.”
“She has done anal . Look at iafd again , it’s there . ”
“I stand corrected. I will now mourn her for two seconds — oh wait — she did IR. Fuck the mourning.”
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
this goes on and on and on. She’s no great loss, she was ugly to begin with, someone else will come along, and so on.
I’ll admit, I’ve had some great fun watching her have the shit pounded out of her from a cock with a body attached, and prior to a few weeks ago? I never even knew she existed. I don’t know her personally and I’m not going to pretend we totally shared laughs over a Mocha-frappa-soyacino at Starbucks.
But to say that her death is “no great loss”? Jesus christ, man. I thought the half-assed outpouring of eulogies from Amy Winehouse’s detractors was fucking disrespectful.
I guess I’m taking this pretty hard because she’s fucking nineteen. NINEteen. She was someone’s teenage daughter for fuck’s sake. Perhaps even someone’s kid sister. Someone’s friend they’d go to the movies with. I could go on for ages theorizing what she meant to the people who knew her, but I digress.
I guess what pisses me off about this whole thing is what pisses me off about the disconnect between the consumer and sex-work in general: Very rarely, to a bunch of stiff-dicked horny bastards, are these women actually human beings, with emotions, thoughts, feelings, the whole shebang that comes with inhabiting a sentient meatsack for 90 years. People -including those I know- pay/paid their bills with this shit. They rent, they buy groceries, they kiss their partner goodnight, some of ’em even have kids. As soon as they’re off the set of “all holes filled with hot cum”, or get changed after a striptease, they’re no different to me, you, or the guy who has to deal with stoners when jockeying a register at 7-11.
There’s no denying that you have to deal with dickheads regardless of profession, but it seems this uncaring “not a single fuck was given that day” attitude seems to be a little too prevailent in sex work. A friend of mine used to be a stripper, so I’d catch the occasional Facebook post about her night’s work. Usually rants about how a customer wouldn’t cough up a few measly bucks for a dance, or grabbed her, or other douchebaggy incidents. If all that made me want to punch myself in the dick cause I was ashamed of sharing a gender with some real shitty pieces of work out there, imagine how the noncaring attitude of “oh, she’s a porn star. Who gives a shit if she’s dead?” left me? I’m half-tempted to just swear off porn altogether now.
It’s the same reason why all the accusations against photographer-turned-sleazebag Terry Richardson have been all but ignored by his clients really pisses me off.
It’s the same reason why I’m glad organizations like The Scarlet Alliance exist, to promote safe work and equality for sex workers.
It’s also the reason why I’m an out-and-proud feminist (though I prefer the term “feminist ally”, because I feel my actions in the field aren’t exactly noble enough to put myself on that particular pedestal).
I guess if I wanted you, dear reader, to take anything from this. Just remember this one simple thing: That big-titted porn star you jerk off to as she gets pounded by five guys? That stripper who you ogle over as she shakes her ass onstage as you carelessly throw money at her? That escort you just paid $90 for a handjob? They might be doing it as a service, hell, they might even do it because they enjoy it, but remember: They’re still fucking human regardless of how little clothes they wear or how much cum ends up on their face. And that alone means they’re more than deserving of some basic decency and respect.
Till next time.