(TW/CW: Ableism, Disabled deaths, NDIS plundering, LNP bullshit)

Are you a failure at life?

Disabled, but not disabled enough for any real help?

Have you not even tried and failed at every turn?

Don’t worry! You can always just move into working in the disability sector. The mass moneitisation of disability isn’t a concern if you’re the one profiting, right?

Even if you’ve failed so hard at your job that an entire country calls for you to be fired, fear not! If you’re a member of the (completely accountable) LNP, you’ll probably just be part of a cabinet reshuffle and put in charge of the nation’s most vulnerable people.

Disabled people definitely need this and could benefit from the compassion of a woman who got paid time off for publicly calling a rape victim “A lying cow”; I’m sure her perspective on disabled victims of rape will be just as kind, respectful and insightful.

As disabled folks, we’re already doing so little on our own. Some of us have it so easy that we get to sit in a chair wherever we go! We pay for nothing much in terms of our medical care or survival out of pocket, its cheap as chips having complex “special needs” and kind of a cake-walk, didn’t you know? We definitely aren’t murdered in our own homes by the people meant to care for us. How could we have it hard when we get our own special parking privileges?! When we get to cut in line for the rides at Dreamworld? How could we possibly be oppressed? Isn’t the real oppression to the abled bodied people because they don’t get to cut in line or have their own special parking?

That’s why, ultimately, we do deserve the constant plundering of NDIS funds. We can’t be trusted regarding our own needs and experiences and that’s why we need to be reviewed every year by a complete stranger to determine if it’s appropriate to continue funding for conditions and disorders which they’ll totally be experts on ( just not like, professionally.)

The general ableism which comes with living as disabled person in larger society and in general is honestly the highlight of most of our days, and the rampant abuse we face socially/societally and in our personal lives is honestly not that bad, we all mostly get over it. What even is PTSD? I mean, we had it coming for being disabled anyway, right?! We should’ve just chosen better physiology before we were reincarnated.

Now that wonder-woman and super feminist, Linda Reynolds is the minister for NDIS and in charge of this Royal Commission into Abuse Against Disabled People, is it entirely necessary? Couldn’t they just call us all lying cows, put us back into asylums and sanatoriums and call it a night?

Even the ‘dole bludgers’ (aka people who are disgusting and unfortunate enough to not actively be part of the capitalist machine) are being encouraged to enter into careers in disability care. Sounds great to me! Even if a good percentage of those on welfare are technically disabled themselves (and should also be receiving help from NDIS/DSP) Bugger em’ and their human rights if it means factoring them back into the budget (Am I right, fellas?) Let them get paid a pittance to completely incapacitate themselves by assisting someone with similar/worse capacity issues. That sounds like it’ll work! Sure! No issues there whatsoever! On that note let’s start propping up fallen structures by using other fallen structures! Let’s combat that nasty lack of funding for proper public housing by just propping all the dilapidated housing trust properties together! For together, they are stronger, are they not?

With all this NDIS consistently being stripped, I’m so, so sure that enough funding will be available to make an influx of workers paid at a reasonable rate a viable option.

 I’m sure they’ll also give participants enough scheduled hours to complete all tasks required. I’m positive that new participants’ conditions will be taken seriously enough to be approved for mobility aids, trips out into the community, and wider society, cooking cleaning and basic needs etc. without the participant just funding it somehow, instead.

As disabled person who is only just beginning to feel valid enough to apply for NDIS funding, I am especially chuffed that they’re asking people such questions like “Do you need help performing sexual activities”? (Assumedly so that NDIS can turn around stick its tongue out and say “nah, nah, we just passed a bill which means that you might as well be an asexual euuuuiiiinch.”) At the end of the day, I’m utterly positive that’s just because NDIS want to get everyone’s needs met. I’m absolutely sure it has nothing remotely to do with eugenics, or the fact that the idea of disabled people copulating like fully consenting adult human beings is too much to fathom. Surely not.

NDIS will definitely not get stripped again for something like a failed submarine program or to bolster ministerial creature comforts, especially not at the hands of someone who took paid time off for Acute Incarceritis. That would just be ridiculous, right? I’m POSITIVE that the likes of Bill Shorten won’t leak details of Government plans to grant funding based on abled bodied ideals of what is “fair” to ensure that all these “disabled-but-not-disabled-enough” individuals just die out so we can use the funding like the last bit of margarine; spread it as far as it will go. I’m totally sure Minister Reynolds has totally got this, in fact she’s definitely got this.

This definitely wont continue or worsen the trend of our most vulnerable dying at the hands of ableism.

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