Ruku Fails at Quitting Smoking: Day Three

10.00am

24 hours without a single cigarette. Yeah, great, whatever, well done me.

I’d be more excited except I have a severe case of “that facemelty thing that happens when you open the Ark of the Covenant”, everything hurts, and I stayed up till the wee hours playing DayZ. Mostly because Dead by Daylight hates my dinosaur of a computer.

Let’s talk about DayZ for a minute, shall we?

That shit isn’t conducive to quitting smoking.

First off, your character is completely fucking hopeless. You start off with basically nothing, and hungry, and they won’t shut the fuck up about how hungry they are until you down three cans of beans and two powdered milks. Then they’re thirsty, so off you go in the middle of bumfuckistan to find a gazillion cans of pepsi. Just when you think you have that shit covered, BAM! Hungry again.

Who the hell is this hungry all the time? I’m more sugar than human at this point, and I can last basically three quarters of a day without eating. C’mon dude. pick your game up.

Then there’s the thing where you’re in the middle of Bumfuckistan.

You were spawned in Bumfuckistan,

you are continually hungry or thirsty in Bumfuckistan,

you will inevitably die in Bumfuckistan.

Where are all the cities? I’ve managed to find large towns and then got stuck in a coastal area with a lighthouse and died of starvation because Dudley Dickhead didn’t have food in 2.5 seconds.

At least he’s got being a zombie down pat; wander around aimlessly (you don’t get a map, so your best hope is to just find a road and hope it doesn’t lead to the fucking Lighthouse), satisfy eternal hunger, get stuck on stairs, or rocks, or flat concrete, or an infinite plane.

Oh, and holy shit you’re bad at combat. Like I get you’re not meant to be the Terminator or anything, but surely your numbnuts of a character can swing a fucking axe. Any time a melee weapon hits it just makes this unsatisfying “paff” sound. Jesus fucking christ, throwing toilet paper would do a better job.

Oh, and forget about unarmed fighting; the dude’s boxer stance just gives you false confidence. You’re going to die. Your character has all the punching power of an infant.

For some reason it’s running better on my computer now, so there’s that. plus even on low rez it’s rather pretty. I would have stuck around to admire the scenery, but Dudley Dickhead died of starvation again and I was re-respawned near the lighthouse.

Ruku Fails at Quitting Smoking: Day Two

8:50am:

Let’s talk about quitting aids. Specifically the Nicorette lozenges.

What fresh hell is this shit? Who decides to make something using peppermint and fails miserably? Like, were they told what mint tasted like by someone who could barely speak English and had to do guesswork from there? Are they meant for people with a masochism kink? The fuck is going on here?

Oh, and they’re not like tic tacs. You can’t just chew them and go about your day. That shit is the Boba Fett to your Sarlacc; It has to be dissolved for what feels like a thousand years. So your mouth eventually fills up with minty goo, and swallowing that shit is worse than trying to get drunk on mouthwash. And you can’t do anything else in the meantime because you’ve got this minty fucking turd-capsule in your mouth and anyone who has tried to consume anything after brushing one’s teeth knows it’s the absolute fucking worst.

Normally I like minty things. I thought this would be fine. I was lied to and betrayed. I just had to brush my teeth to remember what fucking mint actually tastes like.

0/10 don’t recommend.


9:35am:

For comparison’s sake, I cracked at about 8:15am yesterday. So FUCK YEAH. NEW HIGH SCORE!

I’m not feeling the cravings as much. Patches appear to be helping but may be a placebo effect (they’re working too well. I haven’t called anything a cunt yet). But something is puzzling me…

What the hell do you non-smokers do all day?

I have spent the last five minutes wandering around listlessly looking for something to do. Had a crack on the guitar for about 10 minutes, gave the Xbox a look and a hearty “meh” soon after, now I’m just watching Youtube and prepping for editing work that I have been neglecting for months.

Okay granted, I’m home sick from work so there’s the extra boredom factor to tackle, but work has smoke breaks, and lunch, and whatnot, so I’d probably feel the same way there, too.

I bought a Rubix cube to distract myself. I’m going to solve the fucking thing by tonight at this rate. Good lord.

Is this what non-smoking life is like? Just being endlessly fucking bored?

“Oh being a non-smoker is soooo great. You can breathe better, and less likely to die of horrible diseases, and doing any amount of exercise doesn’t fucking send you to an early grave, and you won’t sound like Tom Waits!”

Yeah, great. All for what? To stare at a fucking wall all day? How the hell do you people keep yourselves entertained?

And for the record, hypothetical non-smoker person; Tom Waits is a fucking champ. Those dulcet tones that sound like a badger being force-fed a running lawnmower make people weep, okay? Don’t make me car-bomb you for being a fucking embarrassment.


11:25am (not italic’d because I didn’t post this to Facebook)
Goals. I should probably talk about those, hey… Besides, I have a software demo downloading and if I watch the progress bar any longer I’m going to cry.
Obviously getting healthier is one. Finances are another. Even on my rather sizeable paycheque it’s impossible to afford everything I want, or need, or whatever, along with buy smokes, pay rent, pay bills. I’d very much like money at the end of the week so I’m not living off of credit all the time.
So I did some number crunching for a three month period.
Let’s assume that my normal deathsticks du-jour (JPS 40’s) cost around $35.50. Roughly there are 91 days in three months. I roughly smoke a pack a day.
35.50 by 91: $3,230.5
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
That’s a new car, or an upgraded computer or some tricked out custom shop guitar.
Or you know, that eye treatment I’ve been needing for years now. But pfft. I can see plenty fine…
…If I squint.
Six months? $6,461
Twelve months? $12,957.50
You get the idea. for every pack I don’t smoke, I’m saving a fuckton of money.
Yes I should be excited that I’m not pumping tonnes of chemicals into my system, yes, I’ll be infinitely healthier and happier and whatever the fuck, but seeing those numbers, seeing how much money I’m wasting on the fucking things is… well it’s a fucking waste.
So here’s what I sorta have in mind: Some sort of reward for three months smoke-free. Six months smoke-free, twelve, etc. It doesn’t have to be extravagant (defeats the purpose of y’know, saving money), but a reward nonetheless. It doesn’t even have to be for me, just a nice gesture of going out to dinner with Mel and/or Gemma. Positive reinforcement is meant to be good, right?
I dunno. it could work, could be miserable failure. Who knows?

Ruku fails at Quitting Smoking! – Introductory and Day One

So I’m quitting smoking. As of May, I decided I shall be smoke free. Hopefully for good.

the last few times were not successful. The longest I’ve lasted was six months and around the six month mark the cravings really started to hit to the point where if I even smelled a waft of cigarette smoke, I’d immediately want like, ten of the fucking things. That time was because I was dating a non-smoker at the time and she didn’t know I partook in the cancer-sticks.

This time I want to do it for good, and for myself.

I have a few restrictions on my methods so far:

-No e-cigarettes. They don’t really solve the issue and my current kit needs maintenance I couldn’t be bothered spending money on.

-No one-for-one replacements. No replacing smokes with candy, or similar. Because I’ll end up spending just as much on candy and snacks and sugar as I would on the thing I’m trying to quit. Last time I attempted this I used Junior Mints and Starburst. That shit adds up.

Beyond that it’s fair game. So long as I stay off the smokes. If I have a smoke, then I get to start the whole process again the next day… I should probably come up with a better punishment than that, but anything I can think of is either going to be the fun kind of punishment, or I’ll end up relenting anyway.

I’ve been detailing the last few days on my personal Facebook, mostly for entertainment’s sake. Anything I post there will inevitably end up here and vice-versa. So if you’ve read days one and two already, feel free to skip those.

Without further ado…

Day one:

Cracked after 2 hours. Not aided by the fact work is already a clusterfuck.

Now loaded up on patches and the infernal QuitBuddy app ready for tomorrow, I guess.

But hey, for those two hours I saved $6 and was not exposed to 60mg of chemicals. That’s something, right?